I’ve realized something really annoying about myself recently: ever since I got married, I seem to have an opinion about everyone else’s relationship. This is a quality I’ve been trying to suppress in regards to friends and family, but when it comes to the books and TV shows I like, I figure, why the hell not? I’ve read Jane Austen enough to develop some pretty strong opinions about the relationships in her books, and I’ve read and seen the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice enough times to have formed opinions about every last marriage. So, here it is: your comprehensive guide to the marriages in Pride and Prejudice and whether they muster a passing grade.
Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy
This love story is so appealing because Elizabeth and Darcy are able to overcome their prejudices about each other to realize that they are actually in love. What I like about their relationship: both are willing to look at themselves and say “I screwed up.” This is important in marriage and will benefit the both of them. But, I also think as willing as they are to examine themselves, that Darcy’s pride and Elizabeth’s quick judgment won’t entirely leave them. I foresee a lot of squabbling in this marriage when one of them lapses back into old ways. Furthermore, it’s not like the Bennets are going to get any easier to deal with. Whether they want it to or not, family strain might get to them. If they’re able to talk it out and work past their issues, they’ll be successful, but if Darcy has to write Elizabeth a letter of explanation every time she gets pissed at him for dissing her family, not as much. The flaws in them both makes them more realistic, and it makes their marriage more difficult, but also more realistic. For that reason, they’ll have to fight for an admirable but not perfect grade. B+
Jane Bennet and Charles Bingley
I like Jane, and I like Bingley. But I would be a little concerned about marrying a guy who left town because his friend told him that I probably didn’t like him that much. Why didn’t he just talk to me about it? What if Darcy tells him to do something else in the future? I don’t know that Jane or Bingley could ever find it in themselves to tell Mr. Darcy off, but maybe one of them could learn to say, “We don’t care for your opinion at this particular moment in time.” B
Lydia Bennet and George Wickham
Their marriage is awful and they are awful, but I also think they are awful in the same way and that they deserve to make each other miserable forever. So, they get the best kind of grade. A out of pure spite for their terrible future together.
Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins
Listen, if this was the modern day, I would be singing “All the Single Ladies” with Charlotte at the bar and helping her enjoy her life as a so-called spinster. She’s awesome and should definitely not be married to the stupid likes of the bumbling Mr. Collins. But given the time period and that her other option is nothing? At least she’s smart enough to engineer a way for them to spend most days where they hardly see each other. She’s making the best of her situation, and for that I give her style points. C
The Gardiners
The best vacation buddies of all time. They get along with each other and everyone around them. Not to mention they are possibly the most sensible adults in the book. A
Mr. and Mrs. Hurst
I don’t know what these people like less: the Bennets or each other. F
Mr. and Mrs. Bennet
I think Mr. Bennet likes his marriage because his favorite thing to do is constantly troll his wife. I think Mrs. Bennet, however over the top she is, has legitimate concerns about their daughters’ well being and Mr. Bennet is kind of a dick about that. But can you blame him? Points for producing the protagonist, I guess. C-
Kitty Bennet and future husband
In my mind, Jane and Elizabeth take Kitty under their collective wings and teach her how to be a grade A badass. For this reason, I like to think she marries the coolest guy of them all while taking in the best qualities of both sisters. Going strictly by imagination, Kitty has the best marriage of them all. A+
Featured image via IMDB. Body image via Focus Features.