It’s time to get drunk again, geeks!
Every month, the Minerva staff makes up a new list of drinking game rules for some of your favorite movies, TV shows, and games. We continue with The Princess Bride, the beloved fantasy-comedy (fromedy?) that most of you probably have on your top ten favorite movies list. Despite its beloved status, let’s be real: The Princess Bride can be campy as fuck at times. From the terrible special effects to Westley’s sexist treatment of Buttercup (like when he nearly hit her while she was trying to explain why she has to marry Prince Humperdink) and blatant Gary-Stu-ness, there are times when I question why this movie is a classic. If it’s not for a brilliant story, then The Princess Bride is beloved for its entertainment value.
And what makes an entertaining movie split-your-sides-laughing hilarious? Drinking, of course! Pour the wine (or mead) and liven up your next nerdy fantasy party with our Princess Bride drinking game!
For extra fun, spice up the party with some Princess Bride-themed drinks:
For the classy and sassy, there’s The Buttercup
Relive Westley’s adventures as the Dread Pirate Roberts with a Dark N’ Stormy
Or try the strong but sweet Paralyzer like Fezzik (try not to get knocked out too easily!)
If you’re feeling particularly daring (or stupid), you can have some Death in the Afternoon like Vizzini.
Feeling mostly dead? Come to Miracle Max for a little Corpse Reviver #2.
Ready to take down a bull (or a six-fingered man?), try Inigo Montoya’s drink of choice, the Matador.
Owh if you want to put in a bit mow effowt into yaw dwink, twy the cwassy Smoking Bishop.
The Princess Bride Drinking Game
Take a sip/shot every time…
- Westley says “As you wish”
- Westley stares at Buttercup for a creepy/sexy (interpretation is as you wish) amount of time
- The story is interrupted by the annoying ungrateful little shit grandson
- “Humperdink” is mentioned
- “True love” is mentioned
- Vizzini says “INCONCEIVABLE!”
- Fezzik rhymes
Bonus: For the daring, take an additional sip every time you THINK Fezzik is rhyming but you have no idea what he’s saying because he’s Andre the Giant
- An obviously fake creature appears
- Inigo Montoya mentions his tragic backstory
- Inigo Montoya says, “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
- People somehow have time for banter during a fight
- Westley has a witty comeback
- Westley and Vizzini drink
- Westley is a sexist douche to Buttercup
- Waterfall when Westley and Butercup tumble down the hill
- When the old lady boos Buttercup
- As always, if you laugh out loud. Police each other.
- Finish your drink: MAWWAGE IS WHAT BWINGS US TOGETHAW TODAY
Alternatively, you can finish your drink when Inigo Montoya defeats the six-fingered man.
As always, we’ll give you our staff’s best quotes of the night (that we can remember) in Minerva: Off the Clock below.
“How much do you want to bet that Humperdink and 6-fingers have something on the side?” (I don’t even want to know if there’s Rule 34 of this).
“Unbreakable, she’s alive dammit!” In your head for the rest of the day. (I have no idea how it came up, but it is going to be stuck in your head for the rest of the day).
“I’m seriously disturbed how hot I think Inigo Montoya is.” (He’s got that weird mullet and creeper mustache, so it’s got to be the accent).
“What’s Inigo doing?”
“He’s channeling his Dad.”
“He’s poking the knot.”
“Yeah he’s poking the knot!”
“Where’s my drink? …Oh, it’s in my hand.” (When you know you’re drunk).
“I’m pretending my penis is a vagina.” (Said the token man in the room).
“The Santa on the grandson’s closet is super weird and kind of creepy.” (Did you notice that Fred Savage has a cut-and-paste Santa hanging on his closet door? What the hell is that?).
“Why can’t Inigo just climb the rope behind Fezzik? Did Westley really choke Fezzik long enough to knock him out? Does Vizzini carry wine and a nice picnic spread on him at all times?” (Important questions. Because magazine writers are fact checking even during drinking games).
“Hello, I am Oberyn Martell. You killed my sister. Prepare to die.” (But, like everything else in the world, this has a happier conclusion than Game of Thrones).
“That’s like my grandma when she cheats at cribbage.” (Referring to Vizzini. Sorry, Nana!).
“Is the stunt person playing Buttercup a man?” (In the rolling down the hill scene. Watch it again. Definitely a man).
“ROUS: possessed by a demon?” (The power of Humperdink compels you!)
“That’s such a little pineapple.” (Instead of focusing on Inigo Montoya’s fight with the six-fingered man, all I could notice was how cute the pineapples were in the background).
We also got into a heated debate about whether Mockingjay was any good during the last twenty minutes of the movie (knowing exactly where everyone stands on Peeta and Gale was suddenly very important). And before we knew it, the movie was over and we had missed a ton of shots but we were pretty friggin’ smashed anyways (although not as smashed as The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). So smashed, in fact, that we played some drunken rounds of Super Smash Bros., Mario Party, and Mario Kart on the N64. All I remember is that there was a lot of yelling, Rosie pwned us as Peach, and we concluded that we are long overdue for a video game drinking game.
What do you think? What would you like to see a drinking game made for? Give your suggestions in the comments section!
Cover image via Princess Bride Forever. Image of Buttercup via Fanpop. Image of Buttercup drink via AllRecipes.com. Image of Miracle Max, Impressive Clergyman via Princess Bride Wiki. Image of Corpse Reviver #2 via MensJournal.com.