It’s time again for the Drinking Dame, where Minerva creates drinking games set to our favorite movies, shows, and games and advises you on boozy ways to insert some absurdity into a night with your friends. You might remember our first installment, The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, which involved us getting quickly hammered and one of our designers attempting to explain the plot with a hilarious slideshow.
This time we’re getting patriotic on y’all. In case you didn’t read it, I explain in my own geek love story how the movie Independence Day was the precursor to my first kiss with the man who would become my husband. Yes, somehow watching Will Smith give sass to aliens inspired a romance. I’ve seen this movie so many times, I can quote the entire thing, down to the inflections and pauses. What better way to celebrate the Fourth of July than get down with some alien ass kicking?
For the game, I insisted on an entirely American spread of food. That meant all beers and ciders from the States, including a new classic: Bud Light Limearitas. I highly recommend you play with the American drink of your choice. If you want to class things up, you can also try the 4th of July Tooter or the Captain America shot. Essentially, if you include blue curaçao and grenadine, you’re good to go.
Some of the rules were tweaked slightly from the way we played the game. As the movie wore on, I realized some of the incidents didn’t occur as frequently as I thought.
- Take a drink every time Steve Hiller (Will Smith) says something sassy to the aliens (ex: “You did NOT shoot that green shit at me!”)
- Take a drink anytime someone brings up that David (Jeff Goldblum) is sad and divorced.
- Take a drink every time Russell (Randy Quaid) takes a drink or acts like a total drunk.
- Take a drink every time a cut scene is accompanied by a flashing light.
- Take a drink every time you see a timer counting down.
- Take a drink every time time the First Lady says, “Liar.” Finish your drink the last time she says it.
- Take a drink every time someone stubs their toe, stumbles, hits their head, or does something comically clumsy.
- Take a drink every time David’s father says something that is supposed to be a laugh line.
- Finish your drink when the dog survives.
- Finish your drink at the end of the president’s speech, or you are not a true American.
- Waterfall during Steve and Dave’s escape from the mother ship.
- If you laugh out loud at a line of dialogue, take a drink. Police each other.
- Bonus option: Culturally aware version. Take a drink every time the movie cuts to a different country or culture, and it supports a stereotype. (Ex: Africans shaking spears)
- Additional bonus option: Yay gay marriage! We played this game after the Supreme Court’s ruling, so we all took an additional drink when Harry Connick Jr.’s character “proposed” to Will Smith’s character.
Here’s what we discovered watching Independence Day: everyone from everything you’ve ever seen is in this damn movie, and you will continually be distracted talking about other shows and movies until you devolve into madness. For example: the guy making out with Russell’s daughter at the beginning of the movie is the douchey guy from 10 Things I Hate About You, the president’s wife is President Laura Roslin in Battlestar Galactica, President Whitmore himself is the dad in Casper and the newspaper man in Newsies, Vivica A. Fox stars in Kill Bill: Vol. 1, Harvey Fierstein (the guy who sounds like he gargles glass) played the mother onstage in Hairspray, and the president’s daughter grew up to be none other than Mae Whitman from Arrested Development.
In addition to that whole mess, you of course have Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith. We did discover, after some research, that Independence Day was before both Men In Black and Wild, Wild West, and I tried unsuccessfully to argue that it was probably Smith’s breakout film. Because I love it that much. Try watching this movie drunk and not talking about every other movie you’ve seen in your life. We dare you.
On a scale from one to drunk, this movie will get you pretty drunk. Because we were all drinking beer or cider, we did not get as drunk as we could have. Although if that’s your main goal, may I suggest taking shots at the moments you are supposed to finish your drinks? Otherwise, you will end the evening with a pleasant buzz and memories of talking about nothing but other movies, but not the actual plot of this one.
Happy Fourth of July! If you don’t want to go watch fireworks in person, this a great way to get ‘em. Will Smith always delivers.
Images of Independence Day via Twentieth Century Fox. Image of drinks via Minerva Staff.